Grouchy

Feeling soooo grumpy at the moment. Came on unexpectedly yesterday which  has given me spots, and a sore back. :(

Have been on raw juice cleanse all week, with surprisingly few detox symptoms, just all of the pros i.e. more energy, less need for sleep, actually waking feeling refreshed and not like death despite 9hr kip etc. Been having brown rice and the odd raw bar too (wanted to keep energy up cos of BFing). Feeling very itchy in the teeth department though... it isnt as much fruit as I would even normally have, but I do get this when I go really raw. It's so annoying. Have lost a couple of pounds (dont know exactly cos don't weigh myself) but my clothes are fitting better and really looking forward to next week and not being on, as I always drop a few pounds after, so by next weekend should be looking and feeling fab. And hopefully the detoxy/PMT skin breakout will have ceased!!!

You can tell by my writing just how flat I'm feeling :/ that's pretty normal for Day 2 for me, though. It does take so much energy out of your body... even when replenshing with Floradix and excellent juices. Am in bed with Ro while he naps but I don't actually want to sleep I just want to lay down. my goddamn BACK!!!!! had a gorgeous hot oily candlelit bath with red wine last night after ro was in bed, read The Soul of Sex by Thomas Moore which is EXCELLENT - Tash, you'd enjoy it. It's a winding essay on the nature of sex, eros, love, friendship, how they interweave and how our cultures view them. fascinating,  much food for thought, and mildly erotic at the same time. i lay there in the semi-dark reading it slowly aloud to myself, letting the words roll around in my mouth, savouring them and then hearing them echo softly off the walls. sensual.

Really appreciating my friends this week. seen L 4 times and just love it. love those friendships where you never 'run out of stuff to say' and it's just easy to be in each other's company even if you're chatting shit or not saying much at all. So nourishing. I guess that's what happens when you've been friends for 12yrs :)

Inspiration

"Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

D

Three years to the day
Daisy May
In love
You were made
In love
You did fade
In love
You remain
Endless
Eternal
Universal
Love.

Not just a mama...

Thought I wanted love
But I have so much of that
So beautiful, blessed and bright
Is my life...
My son,
My all.

But at night
When I think of you
All the things we used to do
And I know it's just physical
This thing with me and you

You're respectful and gentle,
Fun and tender,
Trust
and lust
No confusion.
We're on the same page
With what we need
And it suits.

It's good for me
And you,
Well
You're never treated so well
As when you're under me
Taking out all my longing
and need to be filled
By you
So spectacularly

Sweet,
But
Don't want
(or need)
Flowers no more,
Don't bring gifts
To my door,
Don't try to
Turn me to
Your way of living
Drink and drugs,
Just sex and hugs
Please,
Easy chat
Not clever conversation.

I
Need to save myself
The hassle
Of falling for you
(for anyone)
We're not right in that way
No more

But in the night...
Come to me
Come into me
Tonight.